TED20260102 A 3-step guide to believing in yourself - Sheryl Lee Ralph (re-release)

You're listening to TED Talks Daily where we bring you new ideas to spark your curiosity every day. I'm your host Elise Hu. Happy New Year. We are continuing to share a handful of talks, conversations and podcast episodes from the TED archive to inspire you for 2026. Over the past week we have explored themes of introspection, curiosity, regret and more. Today it's fitting to explore how to love and believe in ourselves.

欢迎收听TED每日播客，我们每天为您带来激发好奇的新思想。我是主持人艾莉丝·胡。新年快乐。我们将继续从TED档案中精选一些演讲、对话和播客节目，以期在2026年激励各位。在过去的一周里，我们探讨了内省、好奇心、遗憾等主题。今天，探索如何爱与相信我们自己正合时宜。

We couldn't think of a better talk to share than this one from Emmy Award winning actor Cheryl Lee Ralph. Cheryl is a force, delivering iconic performances on stage and screen, but she didn't always know if she'd make it big. In a lively talk sparkling with actionable advice and Cheryl's unmatched charisma, she shares how her struggles taught her what it takes to believe in herself and how we can all find the self confidence to keep moving forward.

我们想不出比艾美奖获奖演员雪莉·李·拉尔夫的这场演讲更好的分享了。雪莉是一股力量，在舞台和银幕上奉献了标志性的表演，但她并非一直确信自己会获得巨大成功。在这场充满可行建议和雪莉无与伦比的魅力的生动演讲中，她分享了自己的挣扎如何教会她相信自己需要什么，以及我们如何都能找到继续前进的自信。

I am an endangered species, but I've seen no victim song. I am a woman, am an artist. And I know where mother belongs. Now you might have heard me sing that song. It was September 12th, 2022 right after Amy Poehler and Seth Meyer said, "And the winner is... Cheryl Lee Ralph!" What? I had just won the Emmy Award for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy for my role as Mrs. Barbara Howard on your favorite TV show, Abbott Elementary.

我是濒危物种，但我不唱受害者之歌。我是一个女人，一位艺术家。我知道母亲归属何处。现在你们可能听过我唱那首歌。那是2022年9月12日，就在艾米·波勒和塞斯·迈耶斯说出"获奖者是……雪莉·李·拉尔夫！"之后。什么？我刚刚凭借在你们最爱的电视剧《小学风云》中饰演芭芭拉·霍华德夫人，赢得了艾美奖喜剧类最佳女配角奖。

Oh yes, and I was shocked. As the children would say, "shook" into disbelief? Oh my goodness. It was my first time at the Emmys and I won. Yes, and I've got to tell you. In that moment, I was so stunned into disbelief that I don't know how I got up on the stage there. I was just listening to that roar of applause and my whole career flashed right there in front of me, starting with 19 year old Cheryl Lee in her first movie being directed by the great Sidney Poitier.

哦是的，我当时震惊了。就像孩子们说的，"惊到"难以置信？我的天哪。那是我第一次参加艾美奖，然后就赢了。是的，我必须告诉你们。在那一刻，我惊愕到难以置信，都不知道自己是怎么走上那个舞台的。我只是听着那雷鸣般的掌声，我的整个职业生涯就在我眼前闪过，从19岁的雪莉·李出演她的第一部电影，由伟大的西德尼·波蒂埃导演开始。

Oh yeah, you can clap that. Followed by... 10 years of no after no after no. Before the next film role came about. But I filled in that time with TV and more no's and more rejection until... I made it big on Broadway in what has become the iconic musical of the eighties, because I say so, Dreamgirls. And boy did I learn a lot of life lessons there.

哦是的，你们可以为此鼓掌。紧接着是……十年间，拒绝之后还是拒绝，拒绝之后还是拒绝。才等到下一个电影角色。但我在那段时间里用电视工作填补空白，以及更多的拒绝，更多的回绝，直到……我在百老汇取得了巨大成功，出演了那部已成为八十年代标志性的音乐剧——《梦幻女郎》，我说它是它就是。天哪，我在那里真是学到了很多人生的功课。

And I mean, after so many moments of doubt, disbelief... There I was on that Emmy stage with this huge sign in front of me flashing "Stop now, stop now, stop now," and I started to think, my god, what if I had stopped after all of those no's? What if I had stopped after all of those moments of feeling defeated? What if I had stopped? I wouldn't be standing there for that golden moment.

我是说，在经历了那么多怀疑、不信的时刻之后……我站在那个艾美奖舞台上，眼前仿佛有一个巨大的标志在闪烁"现在就停止，现在就停止，现在就停止"，我开始想，天哪，如果我在经历了所有那些拒绝之后就停止了会怎样？如果我在所有那些感到挫败的时刻之后就停止了会怎样？如果我停止了会怎样？我就不会站在那里迎接那个黄金时刻了。

But right now? Many of us. We are feeling... Hmm... Deeply challenged. Trying to hold on to belief in ourselves, and I do not mean in a toxic way. I am talking about a way that comes from confidence, the kind of confidence that can keep us moving forward when we are feeling... Like we are carrying the weight of the pandemic, trying to figure out all of this political division, fighting all of the mental, physical, social violence in our homes, in our communities. To climate change, social media... It's a lot.

但是现在呢？我们中的许多人。我们感到……嗯……深受挑战。试图坚持相信自己，我指的不是一种有害的方式。我说的是一种源自自信的方式，那种能让我们在感觉……像是背负着疫情的重压、试图理清所有这些政治分歧、对抗我们家庭和社区中所有精神、身体、社会暴力时，依然能继续前行的自信。还有气候变化，社交媒体……太多了。

Making it hard to believe in the goodness in the world. And harder still. To believe in the goodness of ourselves. This is a rough time, people, and our mental health is suffering. We all need a checkup from the neck up. And I don't mean just medicine. I actually mean. Reframing. Our thinking. Of our ability to believe. In ourselves.

这让人难以相信世界的美好。而要相信我们自身的美好则更加困难。这是一个艰难的时刻，朋友们，我们的心理健康正承受痛苦。我们都需要从上到下（喻指头脑）做个检查。我指的不只是药物。我实际指的是。重构。我们的思维。对我们相信的能力的思维。对我们自己的思维。

Now I know. You see me on TV, in magazines, on movie screens and you might be thinking to yourself, what does she know about struggling to believe in herself? Well, let me tell you something. I do not look like my journey. Oh, I've been through a few things. And the struggle is real. But I have learned something in my life that there are three things that we all must do in order to believe in ourselves.

我知道。你们在电视、杂志、电影银幕上看到我，可能会暗自想，她怎么懂得为相信自己而挣扎？好吧，让我告诉你们。我的外表看不出我的旅程。哦，我经历过一些事情。挣扎是真实存在的。但我在生活中学到了一点：为了相信自己，我们所有人都必须做三件事。

Number one. First, we need to see ourselves. I mean really, truly, deeply see ourselves for who and what we are in order to believe in ourselves. I'm a child of the sixties and that was hard. Ooh. In the third grade. I tested out of public school into a fancy private school. With the only black person I saw every day... Was the one who looked back at me. In the mirror. I was by myself. And I was all alone.

第一。首先，我们需要看到自己。我指的是真正地、真实地、深刻地看到我们是谁、是什么，这样才能相信自己。我是六十年代的孩子，那很艰难。哦。三年级时。我通过考试从公立学校转入一所高档的私立学校。每天唯一看到的黑人……就是那个从镜子里回望我的人。我形单影只。我非常孤独。

And the things that were said to me. And I'm not talking about just the kids, but the adults, too. And when I would come home from school crying the ugly cry, my immigrant Jamaican mother would sit me down in front of the mirror and ask me, do you see an N-word? Do you see a liar? Do you see a big lipped monkey? No. So dry your eyes. And when you go back to school, remember you are rubber, they are glue and every ignorant thing they say about you bounces off of you and sticks to them.

那些对我说过的话。我指的不只是孩子们，还有成年人。当我从学校回家，哭得很难看时，我来自牙买加的移民母亲会让我坐在镜子前，问我：你看到一个"N"开头的词（侮辱性词汇）吗？你看到一个骗子吗？你看到一个厚嘴唇的猴子吗？没有。所以擦干你的眼泪。当你回到学校时，记住你是橡胶，他们是胶水，他们说的关于你的每一个无知的话都会从你身上弹开，粘到他们自己身上。

And I believed her. And it didn't hurt. So much. Because I believed. Number two. We've got to think, think about ourselves in order to believe in ourselves. Growing up, my dad had a sign on his desk and it said "Think." Think. Oh, I did not know how valuable and powerful the simple act of thinking was until I came back to Hollywood from my triumphant run on Broadway and I had this meeting with a big studio Hollywood casting director.

我相信了她。而且没那么疼了。因为我相信了。第二。我们必须思考，思考我们自己，才能相信自己。成长过程中，我爸爸桌子上有个牌子，上面写着"思考"。思考。哦，直到我从百老汇的成功演出回到好莱坞，与一位好莱坞大制片厂的选角导演会面时，我才知道思考这个简单的行为是多么宝贵和强大。

Oh, I was so ex*ited. I walked in and he looked at me and he said. Hmm. "Everybody knows you're a beautiful, talented black girl. But what do I do with a beautiful, talented black girl? Do I put you in a movie with Tom Cruise? Does he kiss you? Who goes to see that movie?" I could not believe that. That man had just said that to me, to my face. And he hurt me. He hurt me so deeply I was actually thinking about quitting. Until. I started to think.

哦，我当时兴奋极了。我走进去，他看着我，然后他说。嗯。"谁都知道你是个漂亮、有才华的黑人女孩。但我拿一个漂亮、有才华的黑人女孩怎么办？我把你放到和汤姆·克鲁斯一起的电影里吗？他亲你吗？谁去看那种电影？"我简直不敢相信。那个人刚刚对我说了那些话，当着我的面说的。他伤害了我。他深深地伤害了我，我实际上在考虑放弃。直到。我开始思考。

And I thought about what he said, he said that everybody knew that I was a beautiful, talented black girl. And that I deserve to be cast in movies with the likes of Tom Cruise. And he should kiss me. Ha ha. So what was meant to break me did not break me. It built me up. I believed that man. I believed what he said, and I walked out of there giving myself permission to take up space in Hollywood, knowing that I belong there no matter what anybody thought about me.

我思考了他说的话，他说谁都知道我是个漂亮、有才华的黑人女孩。而且我理应被选去演和汤姆·克鲁斯这样的人合作的电影。而且他应该亲我。哈哈。所以本意要击垮我的话并没有击垮我。它反而塑造了我。我相信了那个人。我相信了他所说的话，我离开那里，允许自己在好莱坞占据一席之地，知道无论别人怎么看我，我都属于那里。

Thirdly. We got to act like we believe in ourselves. Oh yeah, because when we believe in ourselves and act on it, we create possibilities that never would have been possibilities had we not just believed. Okay? So I will tell you another story. I will never forget walking into one of those crowded Hollywood rooms, and I see Harry Thomason, producer Harry Thomason, who is married to Linda Bloodworth-Thomason, writer, creator of the series Designing Women.

第三。我们必须表现得像相信自己一样。哦是的，因为当我们相信自己并据此行动时，我们创造了可能性，如果我们不曾相信，这些可能性就永远不会成为可能。好吗？所以我再讲一个故事。我永远不会忘记走进好莱坞一个拥挤的房间，我看见了哈利·托马森，制片人哈利·托马森，他的妻子是琳达·布拉德沃思-托马森，电视剧《设计女人》的编剧和创作者。

I walked right up to Harry, and guess what happened? I got cast as Etienne Toussaint Bouvier, Las Vegas showgirl turned Anthony's wife for the final season of Designing Women. Oh yeah, against all odds. Once again, I gave myself permission to take up space, believing that I belonged. I believed that if Cheryl Lee did the work of honing her craft, building solid relationships, and stayed ready so she didn't have to get ready, anything was possible. Heck. Winning an Emmy. A Grammy. An Oscar? A Tony. He got it, baby.

我径直走向哈利，猜猜发生了什么？我被选中饰演艾蒂安·图森特·布维尔，一个拉斯维加斯歌舞女郎，后来成为安东尼的妻子，出现在《设计女人》的最后一季。哦是的，尽管困难重重。再一次，我允许自己占据一席之地，相信我就属于那里。我相信如果雪莉·李肯下功夫磨练技艺，建立稳固的关系，并时刻准备着（这样她就不需要临时准备），一切皆有可能。见鬼。赢艾美奖。格莱美奖。奥斯卡？托尼奖。他懂的，宝贝。

So. I challenge all of you to start a meaningful practice. Of looking in the mirror. And loving what you see, believe in what you see. If you can't love it. Then respect it. And if you can't respect it, then encourage it. If you can't encourage it, empower it, and if you can't empower it, please be kind to it. The greatest relationship. The greatest one. You will ever have. Is with yourself.

所以。我挑战你们所有人开始一个有意义的练习。照镜子。爱上你看到的，相信你看到的。如果你不能爱它。那就尊重它。如果你不能尊重它，那就鼓励它。如果你不能鼓励它，那就赋予它力量；如果你不能赋予它力量，请善待它。最伟大的关系。最伟大的那个。你将会拥有的。是与你自己。

Believe me, have faith in yourself, believing that faith can make broken wings fly and we deserve to soar. Remember? Maybe one of these days when you pass the mirror. And you catch a glimpse of yourself. Remember I told you this. That is what believing looks like. And don't you ever, ever, ever give up on you? I am Sheryl Lee Ralph and I love you just the way you are. Believe in yourself as I believe in you. Thank you.

相信我，对自己要有信心，相信信心能让折断的翅膀飞翔，我们值得翱翔。记住？也许有一天当你经过镜子时。你瞥见了自己。记住我告诉过你的。那就是相信的样子。你永远、永远、永远不要放弃自己，好吗？我是雪莉·李·拉尔夫，我爱你们本来的样子。相信自己，就像我相信你们一样。谢谢。

That was Sheryl Lee Ralph speaking at TED 2023.

以上是雪莉·李·拉尔夫在TED 2023的演讲。